How Dating is Like Chess

By Amber Lee, Founder of Select Date Society 

Chess has been used as an analogy for many things in life and it makes a great analogy for how we approach finding and keeping love! You need to approach dating with a strategy, like the way you approach a game of chess. The first step in chess is setting up the board properly, making sure all your pieces are accounted for. The reality is that life experiences may have left you broken, and that’s okay. You just must pick up the pieces and make sure they are all accounted for before you’re ready to focus on dating. Chess starts with an opening move. Your opening move is your first step in positioning yourself to win. The same is true with dating. How you start often leads to how it will go, so you want to make the first move with confidence. If a man fails to open the game strongly, he may end up stuck in the friend zone, with a much longer path towards victory.

In chess, the king is the most important piece as it can never be captured; however, the Queen is the most powerful piece. The Queen can move in any straight direction, as far as possible, as long as she doesn’t move through any of her own pieces. The King’s moves must be more deliberate as he can only move one square at a time. Being that his moves are limited, the King must be thoughtful and considerate about every move he makes. The same is often true in dating. The man must put thought and effort into the moves he makes. He must be deliberate and unwavering in his pursuit. The woman, however, is truly the one that holds the power.

Like chess, dating requires a strategy and an end goal. If you approach the game with carelessness, you will end up making the wrong moves and left defeated. You need to get clear on what your goals are. In chess, your goal is to protect your King, while capturing your opponents. In dating, your goal may be to protect your heart while winning over someone else’s, but you need to be even more clear on how you want the game to end. Do you want to end up married? Having children? Moving in together? It is important to be clear on your desired outcome. 

Of course, dating is not actually a game, but looking at it through this lens allows you to put thought into how much time and energy you are investing in meeting the right person. Ask yourself if you are both even playing the same game? If you are playing chess, but she is off in Candy Land or Chutes & Ladders, you should probably start looking for someone else to play with! Are you ready to master the art of dating and find a great relationship? The matchmakers at Select Date Society have decades of experience in curating meaningful connections. Call them at 877-344-9544.

9 thoughts on “How Dating is Like Chess”

  1. Women are not the ones who “truly hold the power”. It depends on the couple in question. All Alpha males know that. And there are plenty of us out there. Witch is also what most women truly desire.

    1. I dated alphas in my 20s . It gets old. Found the one in my 30s (my prime) and he is Omega. Omega men are outsiders with no interest in social status. An omega man doesn’t like thinking in terms of hierarchy or group dynamics. As the ultimate loner or outsider, he’s the guy who goes his own way and doesn’t care what other people think. He’s authentic, impulsive, non-judgmental, and welcoming.

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